Why on earth has Donlan asked me to write about locks? I don’t care about locks. I’ve got a key that does all the thinking about locks I ever want to do, thank you. Locks are annoying – ask any burglar and I bet they’ll say the same!
Sophie’s Safecracking SimulatorDeveloper: Sophie HouldenPublisher: Sophie HouldenPlatform: Played on PCAvailability: Out now on Itch.io ($3) and Steam (£2.09)
It’s not just any lock he’s asked me to look at: it’s safes. Safecracking. You know what I mean because you’ve seen it in umpteen films. The dial on the door, the reclusive safecracker, stethoscope pressed up against a slab of a metal door, and then click-click-clack, they whirl around triumphantly, opening the door. Donlan wants me to do that. Not for any illicit purposes I should add! We’re not creating some kind of Eurogamer Crime Club! Imagine that! Ha ha! Nervous laugh!
No no, I’m talking about a safecracking game. Quick question: do safe-burglars (an oxymoron if ever I’ve heard one) think it’s a game? Anyway! The game is Sophie’s Safecracking Simulator. Who is Sophie? Sophie Houlden, a rather a prolific game maker. Do they belong to a secret world of safe-crackers? I don’t know. Why are they sharing their secrets? I don’t know. But they are.
Using text and a big 3D recreation of a safe’s locking mechanism, Sophie explains every aspect of how it works, and then, how to crack it. You see the nose fall and catch the cam, pulling the lever to open the door. You see the wheels and pins and levers and trenches, which are added to the mechanism to make it harder to crack. And you learn how to line these up either to given combinations or by figuring out your own. It’s quite hard. And when Sophie obscures the inner workings and asks you to open the door using sound and dial measurements, it’s very hard. But I suppose it would be wouldn’t it? Otherwise we’d all be robbing banks!